Can Narcissists Feel Empathy?

Narcissists and a Lack of Empathy

One of the biggest problems that other people have with narcissists is what they believe to be a lack of empathy. This characteristic creates problems for the individual themselves, those in their life, and their entire community. But new research indicates that narcissists may actually experience empathy. They may just be unwilling or unable to express it properly.

Experiments on Empathy in Narcissists

A common question about narcissists is whether they can feel empathy. Those who have come into contact with narcissists would argue they do not. Yet recent research suggests that this may not be accurate.

Researchers at the University of Surrey and the University of Southampton examined whether individuals with narcissistic tendencies could feel other people's distress. They also studied whether someone with narcissistic qualities which does not display empathy could change. These studies focused on those with subclinical narcissism as defined by the DSM as opposed to the more problematic narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Participants were divided into those who displayed greater empathy than average and those displaying less empathy than average (Hepper, Hart & Sedikides, 2014).

In the first study, participants read a case about someone who had suffered a recent break-up. The scenario was altered in terms of the severity of the person's reaction. Regardless of the severity of the scenario, those high in narcissistic qualities failed to display empathy. This was the case even when the person described in the scenario was said to suffer from extreme, overwhelming depression and hopelessness. The outcome also showed that this lack of empathy was related to the participant's characteristics of entitlement, explosiveness, and exhibitionism, features associated with narcissism.

The next experiment investigated whether narcissists were able to show empathy when directed to take the perspective of the target person. Female participants were shown a 10-minute documentary that detailed a woman's experience with domestic abuse. They were instructed to imagine how the person felt as they watched the video. Results indicated that participants who were high in narcissistic qualities were able to alter their point of view. They displayed a far greater degree of empathy compared to those in the first study.

The final study examined whether the shift in empathy triggered by suggestions to take another's perspective could be seen not only emotionally but also physiologically. Previous research has indicated that increases in heart rate are a strong indicator of an empathetic response to another person's suffering. Initially, those high in narcissistic tendencies showed lower physiological arousal when shown other people's distress than their counterparts. When instructed to take someone else's perspective, however, their physiological arousal increased to the level shown by those low in narcissistic qualities.

Implications of the Research

The findings from these studies suggest that those with narcissist characteristics can empathize with other people’s distress under certain circumstances. The results also indicate that they also can alter their ability to do so. However, it is important to note that these studies did not examine those with actual Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Also, the perspective-taking studies only included women as subjects, so it might be concluded that males and those with more severe narcissism might not respond in the same way.

These studies also did not examine whether a narcissist could empathize with another’s positive emotions. This might be more difficult for narcissists. This is because negative emotions may not elicit envy in the narcissist, as it often occurs when they see someone who is happy due to receiving good news or other positive circumstances.

In the case of positive emotions, a narcissist may actually feel that someone else should not have positive experiences that they themselves are not experiencing. This is especially the case when the cause of another’s positive emotions is something valued by society, such as marriage or receiving a promotion. The narcissist is generally not consciously aware of this envy, nor will they easily admit to it when it is suggested as a possibility in therapy.

Narcissism According to the DSM 5

It is important to remember that narcissists frequently are successful in establishing relationships even if they later go wrong. One of the classic features of narcissism is acting in a manner that is superficially charming to the point that, at least in the initial stages of a relationship, it appears that they know what it takes to meet social expectations and have developed behaviors that allow them to do so.

Yet the characteristics of NPD would suggest otherwise. According to the DSM 5, these are as follows:

• “Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
• Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
• Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations
• Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends
• Is often envious of others or believes others are envious of them
• Requires excessive admiration
• Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
• Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
• Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love”

(American Psychiatric Association, 2013)

These are not characteristics that would attract most of us, nor would we likely want to establish a relationship with, or indeed even be around, someone who displays these features. Yet many of those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder do marry, obtain jobs and maintain a way to meet their physical, emotional, and practical needs.

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This illustrates the fact that those with NPD know what to do and what is socially acceptable and desirable to form interpersonal relationships. So if they are aware of what is necessary in order to form real relationships and to have others genuinely care and respect them, why wouldn’t they simply act accordingly?

Why Aren't Narcissists Empathic?

This question has not been completely answered to date, but a large part of the solution is likely found in the narcissist’s negative self-concept that they fervently defend against breaking through to their consciousness. Underneath the narcissist’s problematic characteristics is a significant lack of self-esteem and perceived self-worth.

People develop different ways of coping with such deficits in how they view themselves, and while some may self-sabotage to avoid cognitive dissonance, the narcissist banishes conscious awareness of self-doubt, replacing it with a false sense of self. The clear degree of overcompensation for the lack of self-esteem is seen in their need to not just feel accomplished but to feel superior to everyone with whom they come into contact.

Summary and Conclusions

The results of the studies reviewed here, while interesting, are not likely to provide the first step in helping narcissists experience and express empathy. In order to do this, their defenses against understanding the underlying causes of their perceptions and behavior must be exposed. To do this, the individual must be capable of handling the resulting emotions. They must then be given the tools to evaluate themselves accurately and help to set goals to address any real weaknesses or problems they may truly have.

Additionally, the resulting inability of the narcissist to understand why others respond to them in a way that is different from what they expect and believes they deserve must be explored. Finally, the person should be helped to rectify the interpersonal problems that result from their narcissistic characteristics to the degree they can.

Until the person is able to understand their actual self-perceptions and replace them with a different set of perceptions, they will always need to be completely focused on establishing, at least in their own mind, that they are superior in every way to those around them. Failing to do so, even for a short period of time, would result in the awareness that they may not always be deserving of rewards, the most popular person in a group or the best at a skill or talent.

In turn, this awareness that well-adjusted individuals take in stride as a fact of life could open the door to the narcissist's true self-perception. This would be a problem in that, without therapeutic intervention, they would be unable to accept this outcome, and this could overwhelm their ability to cope.

Only by slowly exposing their true view of themselves can a narcissist reach the point where they can begin to accept their difficulties. Processing what led to these negative self-perceptions and replacing faulty perceptions with a realistic understanding of their true abilities and faults will help a narcissist accept guidance. It is this process of giving the individual an accurate understanding of who they are and how others perceive them that will enable the narcissist to stop focusing exclusively on themselves and develop the ability to focus on the emotional needs of others.

References

American Psychiatric Association (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (DSM-5®). American Psychiatric Pub.

Brunell, A. B., Tumblin, L., & Buelow, M. T. (2014). Narcissism and the motivation to engage in volunteerism. Current Psychology, 33(3), 365-376.

Hepper, E. G., Hart, C. M., & Sedikides, C. (2014). Moving Narcissus: Can Narcissists Be Empathic? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 0146167214535812.

This content is for informational purposes only and does not substitute for formal and individualized diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed medical professional. Do not stop or alter your current course of treatment. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

Questions & Answers

Question: What does it mean to be a cerebral vs. a somatic narcissist?

Answer: What is a Cerebral vs. Somatic Narcissist?

Psychological research has now classified narcissists into two types, Cerebral and Somatic. As could be inferred by the terms, cerebral narcissists use their brains to impress and manipulate those around them while somatic narcissists use their bodies. It is unclear whether narcissists are specifically one or the other, predominantly one or the other or whether they may switch between the two states.

Cerebral narcissists are either very intelligent or will pretend to be. They can develop a very convincing script that will use what they know while while they skillfully read the speaker and conversation to be able to sound like they are knowledgeable about the area. They want to be thought of and praised for their advanced intellect so their body isn’t a focus of attention.

Cerebral narcissists will often seek and successfully hold positions of power and authority where they are given a great deal of responsibility. They are able to use their extreme self-confidence and sense of superiority to get others to do what they want. They first seek followers who they can easily manipulate then once they have a number of supporters they begin seeking out followers that have more clout and will be more useful to them. They believe they are above the law and that they can do what they want without fear of consequences. Many of these types of narcissists will avoid sexual relationships as they feel physicality detracts from their image as an academic scholar with high IQ.

Somatic narcissists are focused on their body. They are obsessed with how, how attractive they look and how they can use their physical appearance to get what they want. They show off their body every way possible and seek out compliments while appearing not to be aware of their looks. Often somatic narcissists have multiple cosmetic surgery procedures to maintain a young, attractive appearance. They always dress in the most up to date clothing and may replace their wardrobe every season to ensure nothing they wear is out of style. They diet frequently and spend hours a day at the gym to maintain their physique.

Somatic narcissists have numerous sexual relationships and often brag either directly or indirectly about their sexual conquests. Whenever others engage them in conversation they will interpret this to be a sexual invitation. They use sex for personal satisfaction as well as to get what they want by gaining an ally or someone with resources that they need.

A number of researchers believe that narcissists have both cerebral and somatic traits, using these differential based on the situation. In professional situation or formal situations they are more likely to use cerebral strategies. In interpersonal or informal situations they are more likely to use somatic strategies. It appears that narcissists do tend to prefer one type of strategy over the other and in situations that can go either way they will default to their preferred type of strategy, either cerebral or somatic.

References

Bates, C., & Neff, M. R. (2017). Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Kohut, H. (2013). The analysis of the self: A systematic approach to the psychoanalytic treatment of narcissistic personality disorders. University of Chicago Press.

Lammers, C. H., Vater, A., & Roepke, S. (2013). Narcissistic personality disorder. Der Nervenarzt, 84(7), 879-86.

Question: What is the definition of a malignant narcissist?

Answer: There have been some different methods researchers and clinicians have used to categorize narcissists. One way breaks narcissism into two subtypes. The grandiose subtype was described as “grandiose, arrogant, entitled, exploitative, and envious.” The vulnerable subtype was described as “overly self-inhibited and modest but harboring underlying grandiose expectations for oneself and others.” (Dickinson & Pincus, 2003).

Subsequent research suggested that there were three subtypes of narcissism, which were grandiose/malignant, fragile and high-functioning/exhibitionistic. The grandiose/malignant subtype was characterized by seething anger, interpersonal manipulativeness, the pursuit of interpersonal power and control, lack of remorse, exaggerated self-importance, and feelings of privilege. These narcissists did not seem to experience a poor self-concept, feelings of inadequacy or to experience negative emotional states except anger. They demonstrated little insight into their behavior and blamed others for their problems.

Grandiose/malignant narcissists tend to have the greatest problems with substance abuse and the greatest amount of acting out or violent behavior such as getting into fights and spousal abuse (Russ, Shedler, Bradley, & Westen, 2008).

Characteristics of the Grandiose/Malignant Narcissist (Russ, Shedler, Bradley, & Westen, 2008)

- Has an exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., feels special, superior, grand, or envied)

- Appears to feel privileged and entitled; expects preferential treatment

- Has little empathy; seems unable or unwilling to understand or respond to others’ needs or feelings

- Tends to blame own failures or shortcomings on other people or circumstances; attributes his or her difficulties to external factors rather than accepting responsibility for own conduct or choices

- Tends to be critical of others

- Tends to be controlling

- Tends to have extreme reactions to perceived slights or criticism (e.g., may react with rage, humiliation, etc.)

- Has little psychological insight into own motives, behavior, etc.

- Tends to get into power struggles

- Tends to be angry or hostile (whether consciously or unconsciously)

- Takes advantage of others; has little investment in moral values (e.g., puts own needs first, uses or exploits people with little regard for their feelings or welfare, etc.)

- Tends to be dismissive, haughty, or arrogant

- Tends to seek power or influence over others (whether in beneficial or destructive ways)

- Tends to hold grudges; may dwell on insults or slights for long periods

- Tends to be manipulative

- Tends to feel misunderstood, mistreated, or victimized

- Is prone to intense anger, out of proportion to the situation at hand (e.g., has rage episodes)

- Experiences little or no remorse for harm or injury caused to others

References

Dickinson, K.A, Pincus, A.L., (2003). Interpersonal analysis of grandiose and vulnerable narcissism. J Personal Disord 2003; 17:188–207.

Russ, E., Shedler, J., Bradley, R., & Westen, D. (2008). Refining the construct of narcissistic personality disorder: Diagnostic criteria and subtypes. American Journal of Psychiatry, 165(11), 1473-1481.

Question: What is reverse narcissism?

Answer: Reverse narcissism is an infrequently used term referring to covert narcissism. Covert narcissism is a less obvious form of narcissism than what is usually referred to when describing the disorder. Often the person with covert narcissism seems shy and reserved, but this hides grandiose fantasies and thoughts, a sense of entitlement, and an overall sentiment of being better than others. They are often referred to as vulnerable narcissists to suggest they experience low self-esteem and distress because others don't treat them the way they know they deserve to be treated. They tend to not be loud, outwardly vain, obvious braggarts. Yet they are still every bit as arrogant and argumentative as people with the more outgoing brand of overt or grandiose type of narcissism.

That being said, research shows that all narcissists display both covert (reverse, inverted) and overt (grandiose) characteristics. They may have a tendency to show more of one or the other, may switch between the two, or consciously employ one type in certain situations and the other in different situations. It has been suggested that overt and covert are simply different types of expression and not actual types of narcissism.

Please see https://healthproadvice.com/mental-health/Differen... for a more complete discussion of covert and overt narcissism.

© 2017 Natalie Frank

Comments

Chrystyana LaDoucer on April 03, 2019:

I was diagnosed with BPD with narcissistic TRAITS, not NPD. I am able to feel empathy and I am tender hearted. Yet, sometimes I make the choice to be narcissistic. I can switch it on and off. I know what society expects of me and I usually follow the rules but not all the time. Sometimes I lack empathy but I am not incapable of empathy. People often confuse me as being a full blown narcissist. I am not like that. I am speaking out about BPD so people can understand people like myself. We are not monsters, just damaged souls.

Natalie Frank (author) from Chicago, IL on October 06, 2017:

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